Podiums

Me:  "So, we are going to have a debate on whether or not we should have dropped the second atomic bomb on Nagasaki."
Student:  "Are we going to have to stand up in front of the class?"
Me:  "No, it is just one side of the room against the other."
Student:  "So, we don't have to stand up behind stodiums?"
(silence)
Student:  "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Me:  "Did you say, 'stodium'?  What is a stodium?"
Student:  "Those tall things that people stand behind when they debate."
(silence)
Me:  "I think you mean podium."

(5 minutes later)

Student:  "I am probably the smartest one in this class."
Me:  "You aren't the smartest one in that chair."
Student:  "No, seriously...I am the smartest one...no one in the class is smarter than me."
Me:  "Alright, why don't you go to the stodium and announce that?"