Pets

Student:  I woke up to a ferret crawling on my chest.
Me:  Okay.
Student:  We don't have a ferret.

American Cuisine

Student (to Foreign Exchange Student): You've never heard of a pulled pork sandwich???
Foreign Exchange Student: No. What is it?
Student: It's pork...that's pulled.

Have A Young Summer

Student: Mrs. A, try not to age too badly over the summer.
Me: I will?

The War to End All Wars

Me: Okay.  So, let's take some notes on Michigan's involvement in World War I.  Michigan helped to build airplane engines and many of them were made in Flint.  Also, during World War I...
Student (cutting me off): Wait.  There was a World War One??
Me: Ah...yes.
Student:  Seriously?  I've heard of World War Two, but I didn't know there was a One!
Me: Wow.

Civil Rights

Me: So, we are going to talk about the March on Washington...
Student:  Where did that take place?
Me: ...Washington.
Student: Washington state?
(Silence)
Me: No, Washington DC.
Student:  Ohhhh. That makes more sense than Washington state.
Me: Yea.

iPad Descriptor

Student #1:  What is this?
Student #2:  An iPad.
Student #1:  Oh, it's an iPad mini...It's like a mini phone, but bigger.
(Silence)
Student #2:  That made no sense.
Student #1:  Yes it did.  Mrs. A knows what I mean.
(Silence)
Me:  No...no I don't.

Careers

Me: Do you know what you want to do when you leave high school?
Male Student:  I want to be an engineer, but I hate Math.
(Silence)
Me:  Well, you need Math to be an engineer.
Male Student:  Yea, but I hate high school Math, I'll be really good at college Math.
Me:  College Math is tougher.
Male Student:  Yea, I'll be fine.  But I also think I'm going to be a masseuse on the side.  But, I'm not going to give massages to any dudes.
Me:  So, you're going to be an engineer that hates Math and have a massage parlor on the side that only has female clients?
Male Student:  Yea, cause I'm not going to feel up a dude during a massage.
(Silence)
Me:  That doesn't really happen.  Have you ever had a massage?
Male Student:  No, but there is a spa across the street from my house, so I've seen the building.
(Silence)
Me:  Well, it seems like you have it all figured out.